When job description “requirements” aren’t required: A tale

It looks so promising. The company is exciting, the job responsibilities are in your wheelhouse, and you feel like the peanut butter to their jelly.

But then, you read the “requirements” section. You cross off 60% of the boxes they’re looking to check. Then, the doubt creeps in. They list some software you’ve never heard of.

Is “Alteryx” a Pokemon, you wonder? You disqualify yourself and don’t apply.

**NOOO STOPPPP. THIS IS YOU FROM THE FUTURE (for legal purposes I should state this is actually me, Stephen)!!! DON’T DO IT**

What’s this?! Narrative? Drama? Intrigue?

You stop and ask: is having this much fun even legal while learning a valuable lesson about my job search?

Somewhere far, far away

On the other side of the galaxy (saying New Jersey doesn’t sound as cool), the company overlords are talking:

MLON EUSK: We’re looking for a top performer. A rock-star ninja who can increase synergies while improving holistic demand. Let’s base the job requirements on our fictionalized dream candidate.

SANE PERSON: Umm, you realize this is an impossible ask? No-one knows 15 programming languages and all these tools? It’s also impossible to have “147 years of experience with Excel”.

MLON EUSK: Silence! We will see who applies.

Look, I know this is a bit over the top. But this is the logic many companies use when creating job requirements.

They take a kitchen-sink approach. Throw everything at the wall and let the people applying qualify (more often, disqualify) themselves.

We’ve all seen ridiculous job descriptions—companies asking for entry-level employees with three years of experience. If you didn’t have a passion for bookkeeping software at age 7, well, you should have put down the blocks and been more ambitious.

Don’t disqualify yourself. If you're excited by a role and think you’re a good fit, apply. The worst thing that can happen is you don’t hear anything back.

Future you

After heading the warning of Stephen the Mystical (no, shut up, you’ve always wanted to be called that, not me), you decided to apply for the job with Mlon Eusk.

FUTURE YOU: Jolly, I sure am glad I applied for that job. If not for that offer, I never would have realized how high my other offer was. I sure did learn one thing, never disqualify yourself from applying for a job you’re excited about.

**Cue sentimental music and a freeze-frame of you with your thumb up**

In all seriousness, companies list too many requirements in their job listings. Nearly everyone that applies is missing at least a few of those requirements.

Historically, this has meant that people under-represented in a role tend to disqualify themselves more often when they don’t meet all the requirements for a job listing.

Once you’re aware of this fact, you can overcome it. Legally promise me, Stephen the Mystical (last time I use it, I swear), that you won’t disqualify yourself from applying for a job if you miss a couple of the requirements. (Reading this promise constitutes a binding obligation nowhere. I made that up; I know nothing about the law).

The takeaway

Wow, we all sure did learn something today. Can you believe we also had so much fun? What a rollercoaster!

In summary, don’t disqualify yourself from applying for a job based on a few “requirements” you’re missing. Companies are writing their job descriptions for non-existent dream applicants, not reality.