The Worst Job Descriptions of the Year Awards

If you’re ever bored, I dare you to go online and do a Google search for a random profession and “jobs.” You’re guaranteed a good laugh (or wince) with all the terrible entries you’ll find.

Based on some of these listings, you’d get the impression that job descriptions don’t matter. Never mind they’re a company’s first impression or that they address quality standards. Too many job listings make mistakes like writing a mile-long qualifications list or using quirky titles.

I get it: job descriptions aren’t easy to write. (It’s why BeamJobs has entire guides about how to write them.) Despite the difficulties, though, job descriptions are vital to the hiring process. It’s not easy, but no one ever said it was.

Lots of companies only expend the most basic of efforts with their job  descriptions, resulting in many job seekers feeling disappointed with their new jobs. A good job description should give you a glimpse of your future with that company.

A bad one will make you run the other direction.

I’ve compiled some truly terrible job descriptions and given them awards based on their awful attributes. Have a good laugh and learn what to avoid when applying for your next job!

AWARD: MOST UNPROFESSIONAL

Apparently, this application comes from a company with 51-200 employees, which is a wonder with this kind of work. By the time this was listing was saved, they’d gotten four applicants, but I’m surprised they got one. If you see a description like this, run far, far away.

urgently requirement for snappy Auto insurance company work for home ..
dm me only United States people.

That was it, that was the entire job description. I'm sold.

AWARD: ONLY WHAT’S REQUIRED

This one got six applicants by the time I saved it, which I guess is better than the last one. It does include the qualifications, which is something, but with the lack of any other information, it’s amazing that anyone applied at all.

Social Media Manager:

3-5 years of social media management experience.

Bachelor’s degree in business, marketing, journalism, public relations, or related field. Professional certification in Google Analytics strongly preferred.

Proficient using multi-social posting programs such as Hootsuite and Hubspot.

AWARD: VISIT THE WEBSITE OR GET NOTHING

I found five of these monstrosities, all for a government job. They list the salary, so that’s a plus, but only listing “help” in the actual description is inane and embarrassing. Fortunately, the job listing on the company’s website is complete, but that doesn’t mean this is acceptable.

AWARD: LAST-MINUTE, MUCH?

Clearly, this description was written using a template (and likely an hour before the deadline). While using an outline is great (even encouraged), readers shouldn’t be able to tell. It looks unprofessional, sloppy, and gives the impression the company doesn’t care about their new employee.

Note: I removed some text from this description for length and clarity purposes. And yes, the bottom part really was in the actual description.

Position Summary – please limit to no more than 5 sentences
(Briefly describe the overall purpose of this position - why does it exist and how does it contribute to the overall organization.)
Responsible for the creative development...
Principle Duties and Responsibilities (essential functions) – please limit to no more than 10 bullets
(Describe, in order of importance, the primary duties and/or responsibilities to be performed, methods used, and why. Statement should include WHAT, HOW, and WHY).”

Time Spent
30%
20%
20%
5%
5%
10%
10%

I for one am super excited about the prospect of "Time Spent 20%" (round two). It really draws me in.

DOUBLE AWARD: ONLY THE “ESSENTIALS”

These two tie for this award with only the absolute basics included in the listing. I’m all for entry-level jobs, but these descriptions seem to indicate a lack of care and an “anyone will do” attitude. (Surprisingly, this trend is common with attorney and teacher job descriptions.)

Nurse: Looking for Nurse Practitioner (NP) in Pearland, TX, for True Family Clinic. We are Looking for NP who can work Full time or Part-Time in a family clinic settings. Our clinic is new and we need someone who can be patient oriented and friendly.

Attorney: Job Description (yes, this was included in the actual description)

NYC Law Firm seeks Full-Time Attorney to provide legal representation before courts, mediations, and arbitrations

Responsible for handling cases from inception through trial.

Responsibilities include:

Intake Preparing pleadings, motions, trial and mediation briefs

Negotiating settlements

2-5 years’ experience

AWARD: BENEFITS ONLY

I’m all for benefits, but only including benefits is a red flag. What exactly will applicants be doing to earn said benefits? What skills do applicants need for the job? Benefits are great, but expectations need to be clearly stated.

Full Time Pre K Teacher

BA/BS in Early Childhood Education

MSDE MD Certification

$48000 to $49000 per year

$1000 signing bonus

AWARD: ADJECTIVE-HEAVY BASICS

This description has got a little of everything (save benefits), but these soft-skill-heavy descriptions are too generic to help job seekers. They might get a few applicants, but top quality candidates won’t apply.

The ideal candidate is a detail-oriented team player who will be the first point of contact for visitors at the office, greeting them in a polite and well-spoken manner. You will also be assigned duties as required (i.e. organization of inbound and outbound mail, administrative work, and general clerical support).

Responsibilities: Answer and direct phone calls

Distribute mail

Act as first point of contact for visitors

Qualifications: High school diploma or relevant work experience

Ability to maintain a positive attitude

Excellent communication skills)

The biggest turnoff for me here is the closed parenthesis at the end without an open parenthesis anywhere before that. I may be a bit neurotic.

AWARD: UNREASONABLE RESPONSIBILITIES

No need to read all of this—one glance should be enough to tell you this company expects a lot. Granted, it’s likely a good candidate can do all these things, but it’s pretty overwhelming to read. Plus, including a task list like this indicates the company only cares what you can give to them, not what they can do for you.

Ability to communicate effectively verbally and in writing

Ability to adapt to changing technologies and to learn functionality of new equipment and systems

Ability to create, access, input, retrieve, and manipulate information in various software systems

Ability to establish and maintain accurate record keeping, document management, and filing systems

Ability to establish and maintain effective working relationships with individuals from many diverse backgrounds and professions including supervisors, administrators, coworkers, staff, students, parents, and the general public

Ability to follow oral and written instructions

Ability to greet and interact with the public in a courteous and professional manner

Ability to maintain confidentiality

Ability to manage simultaneous demands and set clear priorities

Ability to work days, hours, locations, and assignments as directed by the supervisor within the position responsibilities

Ability to work independently without direct supervision

Commitment to the education of students as a primary responsibility

Communicates effectively with students and adults in a wide variety of settings

Computer proficiency including office productivity applications

Demonstrated ability to manage simultaneous demands and set clear priorities

Demonstrated ability to work well with others in a team setting

Demonstrates citizenship, compassion, courage, discernment, excellence, honesty, hope, integrity, patience, perseverance, reliability, respect, responsibility, and trustworthiness

Demonstrates effective organizational and time management skills

Detail-oriented

Energetic, creative, innovative, flexible

Excellent cooperative, collaborative, and problem-solving skills

Knowledge of Special Education, other educational programming, and associated legal requirements as related to the needs of the students assigned to the teacher

Promotes a positive climate, culture, and community

Strong organizational, interpersonal, written, listening, and verbal communication skills

Student-centered and relationship-focused

Understanding of data privacy laws and their implications for the educational community

Willingness to participate in ongoing training as required

Oh is that all?

AWARD: COMPANY HUBRIS

If the description reads like motivational speech, that’s likely a red flag. Usually, it means the company is overcompensating for something (like expecting you to work bunches of overtime). Not to mention it looks arrogant. But these descriptions are sometimes the most fun to read (read it out loud in an announcer voice for the best effect)!

Feeling underappreciated? Overtime taking its toll? Ready for a change?

Take back control of your happiness.

If not NOW then WHEN?

Piazza Premier Preschool Staffing Agency is the answer!

Keep your passion for early childhood education and still balance everything else in life that keeps your heart at peace!

We offer flexible schedules, and we take that very seriously. We respect you and your time.

Are you ready to take control of your schedule to do what matters to you in life?

We are here for you!

Piazza can offer you:

benefits

bonus programs

competitive pay

flexibility

training

a supportive administrative team

As we’ve seen, there are many types of bad job descriptions. They can be vastly entertaining to read for fun, but rather frustrating if you’re actively seeking a job. A bad job description isn’t a deal breaker for applying, but it should be a serious yellow flag.

You got this,

Stephen Greet

Co-founder @ BeamJobs