The 4 biggest red flags in a job description

I read a lot of job descriptions. I mean a LOT of job descriptions. Nothing quite like a little bedtime reading of a good JD.

(Note to self: Audiobooks for job descriptions. Trillion dollar idea?)

Why do I do this? Pure love of the game. It has nothing to do with the fact that I run a company in the hiring space.

Reading 90% of job descriptions is like watching paint dry. They are generic, don't tell you anything real about the company ("We do AI in the cloud"), and you come away having little to no idea of what you'll actually do on the job.

And this is the baseline. I get the most joy out of reading those last 10% of JDs. In that 10% there are some really good job postings, but even more fun are the really bad job descriptions.

The bad job descriptions are useful. These companies are generous enough to lay out their red flags for the world to see. They make it painfully obvious you wouldn't want to work there.

These red flags typically come in a few different flavors.

We're changing the world, one dog suitcase at a time

Companies exist for one purpose, and that is to make money. It's a giant, do not pass Go, do not collect $200 red flag when companies overstate their importance or "mission".

Lofty missions are often weaponized by egotistical founders to exploit labor. If you can get your employees to drink the kool-aid, you can treat them however you want.

When group-think takes hold at a company, any action or decision can be justified. People who want to work hard but don't delude themselves are weeded out.

If we're going to change the world, we're all going to need to work 70 hour weeks. Your friends? Your family? Your life? Don't worry, you can get all of that from your colleagues.

It's exploitative because when the company sells, who gets rich? The founders and majority equity holders. There is no return to the employees who built the company.

Now, it's okay to want to work at a company that does good (I like to think that's what we're doing here at BeamJobs). But, job descriptions that contain the phrase "changing the world" tend to have cultures that are borderline culty.

"If you were a kitchen appliance, which one would you be?"

Yes, that is an actual question that I had to answer when I applied for a job.

Companies that ask you to do a ton of work upfront just to apply to a job are gauging how much nonsense you're willing to put up with.

If you're willing to jump through 11 hoops to apply to a job, more likely than not you'll be willing to tolerate a lot more on the actual job.

These hoops can take many shapes.

Asking me to create an account to apply to your job? No thanks.

Have 5 open-ended questions on your application form? Pass.

Asking questions that have nothing to do with the company or job? I'll sit this one out.

It takes people hours to complete these tasks and it only takes the hiring manager 1 minute to reject them. When you complete these questions, you're essentially working for free. That, in my eyes, is not acceptable.

Rockstar ninjas

Companies looking to hire "coding ninjas" or "marketing gurus" or "customer service rockstars" are usually looking for one thing: they're looking for one person to operate like an entire department.

We've all seen these job descriptions. The ones with a list of 15 requirements that no-one in the world possibly has. The "responsibilities" listed are the work of 10 people, not one.

These are the same companies that will turn around and say no-one wants to work hard anymore. They rarely (if ever) include the salary in the job description.

They are fundamentally hoping you don't know your own worth. The antidote to this? Well one, just don't apply. Or two, go in armed with data around what you expect to be paid and don't settle.

If we want to see these job descriptions go away (and I certainly do) we need to make this a practice that yields no results. We need collective action.

Crappy companies are responsive only when their bottom line is impacted. If they can't underpay talent, they won't be able to hire, and they'll lose market share.

What is it you do here?

This is the most common red flag on job descriptions.

You know these ones. The ones where you read the job description from top to bottom and you come away having no idea what the company does or what you'll be doing on the job.

If the job description is that vague, I can bet you the job is not well defined. You should have a concrete idea of what your goals will be 1, 3, and 6 months into your new role.

Vague, poorly written job descriptions are also indicative of a poorly thought-out application process. One of those "we move fast" companies that takes 4 weeks to get back to you.

P.S. I'm currently working on the "worst job descriptions of the year" awards. If you come across a JD that you think fits the bill, please send it my way!